Sometimes it really seems there is a plan. I was home to Minnesota in March and got to see, among many other people, my grandma Blackstad. It wasn't a planned trip, it just kind of came up. And I'm so glad it did. My grandma was feeling pretty good and got to meet Evie and really enjoy her. And, Evie was still small enough for her to hold for a short time. If this trip hadn't taken place, my grandma wouldn't have gotten to meet her and that would have been a hard pill for me to swallow. And if I hadn't been in Minnesota a few weeks ago, I would have received a phone call telling me she had passed away. Instead, I spent all day Friday the 1st at the hospital with her, my mom, uncle and cousin and all night into Saturday morning with my family, extended and immediate, holding her hand as she was fighting to stay among the living. She lost the battle and slipped peacefully to heaven Saturday morning, as Kasi & I were getting ready to head back to the hospital after getting 3 hours of much needed sleep.
My grandma had not been in good health for a long time. This fact does not really make losing her any easier. The only thing that makes it easier is imagining her in heaven with my grandpa (gone 28 years), my great Aunt Joyce (will be gone 12 years), Ervey (gone May 2011) and Tootie, my great aunt and grandma's sister (gone November 2011). I see her cooking and baking and talking and laughing and giving orders. I see the grandma I grew up with.
When I think of my grandma, I instantly think of her big white house in Hanska. I have more memories in that house than I do of our house in New Ulm, which we left when I was in kindergarten. I grew up there. I have so many happy memories there. I loved it. And I loved her. So, please forgive me as I reminisce just a little about my time with my grandma. The one who was healthy and happy and always on the go.
My grandma's kitchen was always smelling of food. She was a fantastic cook. Wish I appreciated that a little earlier in life since for a very long time the only thing I'd eat at the table was almost an entire pound of lefse. With sugar. OK, who am I kidding, I could still do that. But the lefse doesn't hold a candle to the meal I passed up too many times. Turkey, ham, creamed rice, mashed potatoes, many more sides that I can't remember because my mind is really on all the pies. She would always have pie. It was enough food to feed a small army, but it was so good.
I also remember making chocolate milk in her kitchen with the Hershey's syrup in the fridge...and the whole milk she always bought. At the time I thought that was gross, now I think it's the next best thing to ice cream. On top of the fridge was always a box of Whoppers candy. She fed them to Cleus, her cock-a-poo. It may be frowned on by vets, but he loved them!
When I think of the TV room, I think of Ervey teaching me to play cribbage and my Uncle Denny teaching me to draw. (That never really took off. You can either draw or you can't. I can't.) I also think about my Uncle Denny letting Kasi & I do his hair. He seriously has the patience of a saint. That trait he did not get from my grandma.
When I remember the dining room I just think about all the family meals we had there. All the talking and laughing. And, again, all the food. Yum!
The living room instantly brings back memories of Christmas. Many, many Christmases were spent there. The piles of presents Kasi & I got (and eventually cousins Sadie & Craig got also) is still mind boggling. The woman liked to shop. And we liked to receive. It also makes me think about Kasi putting on little shows or impersonations for us. She's always had quite the personality!
When I remember my grandma's bedroom, I remember many things. I remember her huge feather pillows and how much I hated them. I thought I was going to suffocate in the middle of the night since my head sunk so far down into them! I also remember getting put to bed before she was coming to bed and either she or my mom (I don't know who) would roll the old TV in front of the bed for me to watch. I probably watched about 30 seconds before I fell asleep, but I do remember that. I remember Kasi & I watching her get ready to go out dancing. And Kasi & I playing with all her earrings. I remember her snoring. She could have really used a C-PAP machine, I'm sure of it. Or I could have used some earplugs. I remember her getting Kasi & I up and ready for breakfast with the ladies down at the diner. We loved that.
When I think of her bathroom, I think of Kasi & I taking a bath when were were little and literally flooding the bathroom one time. My grandma wasn't home, but my mom was. She didn't find it funny. My Uncle Denny did though! I honestly don't know how it happened. My memory of how it happened doesn't line up with my mom's, I don't think. I also remember the walls in her bathroom that had random designs on them (I know this only makes sense to people who have been in her bathroom) and finding pictures in the designs. And her little "Uff da" sign.
I remember picking lilacs and bringing them inside for her. And I remember picking rhubarb out back and getting sugar to dip it in. Yum.
I remember going to the store and Kasi & I getting either candy cigarettes or a Sugar Daddy. We'd occasionally go there ourselves and the lady would always say, "You must be Gina's grandkids!" We thought we were pretty cool.
There are so many more things I remember about my grandma from way back, but those are the ones in the forefront of my mind right now.
My more recent memories of my grandma all center around Evie. She was so excited to be a great grandma. First thing she said when I told her, "It's about time!" Ha! Pretty funny considering I had only been married for 2 years, not 20. Clearly she was impatient. After Evie was born my grandma called me and I called her to update her on how Evie was doing. And when she was laying in the hospital that Friday, the first thing she asked when she saw me was, "How's the little fart?" She loved her.
The sting of my grandma being gone lessens with each day, but then something will happen that makes me remember something new. It may make me cry, but more often now, it makes me smile. I just feel lucky to have had her in my life and to have so many special memories of her.
Until we meet again, Grandma. I love you.
